 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
The Official A
Halo Called Fred
Get Rich Quick Scheme Page
- “I find it really hard to believe that New Jersey rock band A Halo Called Fred print their album covers using ink made from the blood of Christian children.”
- “The President couldn’t have had sex with that intern! It’s immoral! I don’t think he had sex with New Jersey rock band A Halo Called Fred either!”
- “There is no truth to the allegations that listening to New Jersey rock band A Halo Called Fred causes spontaneous orgasm. The studies are too inconclusive.”
- Cite us as the seminal influence for all YOUR
creative endeavors!
- Blame our music for anything
YOU’VE done
wrong!
- Blame the Asian stock market crash on black
market Halo merchandise!
- Cover our songs and turn them into hits!
- Steal our music so we can sue you! (all Halo materials
©A Halo Called Fred)
- Cause trade imbalances in Asia based on black
market Halo merchandise!
- Form YOUR next religious cult around our invisible
friend Chester!
- Name us in your will!
Objective
An open discussion of situations which may result
in riches and fame for A Halo Called Fred members and fans.
Any suggestions? E-mail us at ahcf@brushwoodart.com!
Special Note: There
are bands that are opposed to any form of bootlegging/sharing of their
materials. We are not one of those bands. We feel that it is important
that the world be exposed to the fabulous healing power of our music
BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Just don’t make a profit off it or we’ll
sue your sorry ass.
(all Halo materials ©A Halo Called Fred)
Schemes
The Chain Letter
Chain letters are illegal, and we would never think of starting one, or encouraging anyone to start one. However, if one of our less ethical fans suggested in a casual letter to a friend that listening to the Halo had a wonderful effect on one’s sex life, and that forwarding letters about this had an even MORE profound effect on one’s sex life, and that friend passed that letter around to twenty close friends, and the exponential growth (otherwise known as The Toothpaste Effect) of our popularity flourished with every ounce of libido the world had to offer, who would we be to turn our backs on our new found fame?
The Pyramid Scheme
This is an interesting offshoot of the chain letter idea, but you might make some cash in the process. This is also illegal, so don’t do it. Really. But since there’s nothing more in it for us, we won’t go into detail here.
The Vicious Rumor
This one has worked pretty
well for other bands, and as long as there’s no specific slander involved, it’s
even legal. As long as people DENY all allegations, there’s
no lying even going on.
Examples
The Vile Radio Stunt
It has come to our attention that there is a radio program known as “The Howard Stern Show.” Although this program promotes values that we in the Halo do not particularly approve of, we recognize that the greater good is to spread our message of love. It has also come to our attention that all one needs to be allowed an appearance on this program is to perform some sort of stunt, preferably related to some form of ingestion of the host’s excretory substances, or being a beautiful naked woman. Although the members of the A Halo Called Fred are neither beautiful naked women, nor perverted sickos, we recognize that many of our fans are. We are not opposed to letting one of said fans into the band on a temporary basis for the sake of performing one of the above tasks on this program.
Other Incomplete Ideas